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Elb. He must before the deputy, fir; he has given him warning; the deputy cannot abide a whore-master: if he be a whore-monger, and comes before him, he were as good go a mile on his errand.
Duke. That we were all, as some would seem to be, Free from all faults, as from faults seeming free!
Clown. I spy comfort; I cry bail : here's a gentleman, and a friend of mine.
Lucio. How now, noble Pompey? what, at the wheels of Cæsar? art thou led in triumph? what, is there none of Pygmalion's images newly made woman to be had now, for putting the hand in the pocket, and extracting it clutch’d? what reply? ha? what say'st thou to this tune, the matter, and the method ? is’t not drown'd i'th' last rain ? ha? what say'st thou, trot? is the world as it was, man ? which is the way? is it fad, and few words ? or how? the trick of it?
Duke. Still thus and thus; still worse?
dear morsel, thy mistress? procures she still ? ha?
Clown. Troth, sir, she hath eaten up all the beef, and she is herself in the tub.
Lucio. Why, 'tis good; it is the right of it; it must be fo. Ever your fresh whore, and your powder'd bawd, an unfhunnid consequence; it must be so. Art going to prison, Pompey?
Clown. Yes, 'faith, sir.
Lucio. Why, 'tis not amiss, Pompey: farewel: go, say, I sent thee thither. For debt, Pompey? or how ?
Elb. For being a bawd, for being a bawd.
Lucio. Well, then imprison him ; if imprisonment be the due of a bawd, why, 'tis his right. Bawd is he, doubtless, and of antiquity too; bawd born. Farewel, good Pompey: commend
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me to the prison, Pompey; you will turn good husband now, Pompey; you will keep the house.
Clown. I hope, sir, your good worship will be my bail.
Lucio. No, indeed will I not, Pompey; it is not the wear; I will pray, Pompey, to increase your bondage: if you
take it not patiently, why, your mettle is the more : adieu, trusty Pompey. ’Bless you, friar.
Duke. And you.
Elb. Come your ways, sir, come.
[Exeunt Elbow Clown and Officers.
SCENE VI. What news, friar, of the duke?
Duke. I know none: can you tell me of any?
Lucio. Some say, he is with the emperor of Rufia; other fome, he is in Rome : but where is he, think you?
Duke. I know not where; but wherefoever, I wish him well.
Lucio. It was a mad fantastical trick of him to steal from the state, and usurp the beggary he was never born to. Lord Angelo dukes it well in his absence; he puts transgression to’t.
Duke. He does well in't.
Lucio. A little more lenity to lechery would do no harm in him; something too crabbed that way, friar.
Duke. It is too general a vice, and severity must cure it.
Lucio. Yes, in good footh, the vice is of great kindred; it is well ally’d; and it is impossible to extirp it quite, friar, 'till eating and drinking be put down. They say, this Angelo was not made by man and woman after the downright way of creation; is it true, think you ?
Duke. How should he be made then?
Lucio. Some report, a sea-maid spawn'd him. Some, that he was begot between two stock-fishes. But it is certain, that, when he makes water, his urine is congeald ice; that I know to be true : and he has no motion generative; that's infallible.
Duke. You are pleasant, sir, and speak apace. Lucio. Why, what a ruthless thing is this in him, for the rebellion of a cod-piece to take away the life of a man! would the duke that is absent have done this? ere he would have hang'd a man for the getting a hundred bastards, he would have pay'd for the nursing a thousand. He had some feeling of the sport; he knew the fervice, and that instructed him to mercy.
Duke. I never heard the absent duke much detected for women; he was not inclin’d that way.
Lucio. O, sir, you are deceiv’d.
Lucio. Who, not the duke? yes, your beggar of fifty; and his use was, to put a ducat in her clack-dish; the duke had crotchets in him. He would be drunk too, that let me inform you.
Duke. You do him wrong, furely.
Lucio. Sir, I was an inward of his : a fly fellow was the duke; and, I believe, I know the cause of his withdrawing.
Duke. What, pr’ythee, might be the cause ?
Lucio. No; pardon : ’tis a secret must be lock'd within the teeth and the lips; but this I can let you understand, the greater file of the subject held the duke to be wise.
Duke. Wise? why, no question but he was.
Duke. Either this is envy in you, folly, or mistaking: the very stream of his life, and the business he hath helmed, must, upon a warranted need, give him a better proclamation. Let him be but testimony'd in his own bringings forth, and he shall appear to the envious, a scholar, a statesman, and a soldier. Therefore, you speak unskilfully; or if your knowledge be more, it is much darken’d in your malice.
Lucio. Sir, I know him, and I love him.
Duke. Love talks with better knowledge, and knowledge with dearer love.
Lucio. Come, sir, I know what I know.
Duke. I can hardly believe that, since you know not what you speak. But if ever the duke return, as our prayers are he may,
me desire you to make your answer before him: if it be honest you have spoke, you have courage to maintain it; I am bound to call upon you, and, I pray you, your name?
Lucio. Sir, my name is Lucio, well known to the duke.
Duke. He shall know you better, sir, if I may live to report you.
Lucio. I fear
Duke. O, you hope the duke will return no more; or you imagine me too unhurtful an opposite; but, indeed, I can do you a little harm: you'll forswear this again?
Lucio. I'll be hang’d first: thou art deceiv'd in me, friar. But no more of this. Canst thou tell if Claudio die to-morrow,
Duke. Why should he die, sir?
Lucio. Why? for filling a bottle with a tun-dish: I would, the
Enter Escalus, Provost, Bawd, and Ofigers. Escal. Go, away with her to prison.
Bawd. Good my lord, be good to me; your honour is accounted a merciful man: good my
lord. Efcal. Double and treble admonition, and still forfeit in the same kind ? this would make mercy swerve, and play the tyrant.
Prov. A bawd of eleven years continuance, may it please your honour.
Bawd. My lord, this is one Lucio's information against me: mistress Kate Keep-down was with child by him in the duke’s time; he promis’d her marriage : his child is a year and a quarter old, come Philip and Jacob: I have kept it myself; and see how he goes about to abuse me.
Escal. That fellow is a fellow of much licence; let him be callid before us. Away with her to prison: go to ; no more words. [Exeunt with the bawd.] Provost, my brother Angelo will not be alter’d; Claudio must die to-morrow: let him be furnish'd with divines, and have all charitable preparation. If my brother wrought by my pity, it should not be so with him.
Prov. So please you, this friar hath been with him, and advis'd him for the entertainment of death.
Escal. Good even, good father!
Duke. Not of this country, though my chance is now
Escal. What news abroad i' th' world?
Duke. None, but that there is so great a fever on goodness, that the dissolution of it must cure it. Novelty is only in request; and it is as dangerous to be aged in any kind of course, as it is virtuous to be constant in any undertaking. There is scarce truth enough