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defires you once more to come to her between eight and nine. I must carry her word quickly; fhe'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will vifit her; tell her fo, and bid her think what a man is: let her confider his frailty, and then judge of my merit. Quic. I will tell her.

Fal. Do fo. Between nine and ten, say'st thou?

Quic. Eight and nine, fir.

Fal. Well, be gone; I will not miss her.

Quic. Peace be with you, fir.


Fal. I marvel, I hear not of mafter Brook; he fent me word to stay within: I like his money well. O, here he comes.


Enter Ford.

Ford. 'Blefs you, fir.

Fal. Now, mafter Brook, you come to know what hath pass'd between me and Ford's wife?

Ford. That, indeed, fir John, is my bufinefs.

Fal. Mafter Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour she appointed me.

Ford. And you sped, fir?

Fal. Very ill-favour'dly, mafter Brook.

Ford. How, fir! did the change her determination ?

Fal. No, mafter Brook; but the peaking cornuto her husband, mafter Brook, dwelling in a continual larum of jealoufy, comes in the inftant of our encounter, after we had embrac'd, kifs'd, protested, and, as it were, fpoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provok'd and inftigated by his diftemper, and, forfooth, to fearch his house for his wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?

Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he fearch for you, and could not find you?
Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in


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one mistress Page, gives intelligence of Ford's approach, and by her invention, and Ford's wife's direction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket?

Fal. Yea, a buck-basket; ramm'd me in with foul fhirts and fmocks, focks, foul stockings, and greafy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankeft compound of villanous fmells that ever offended noftril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you fhall hear, mafter Brook, what I have suffer'd, to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress to carry me in the name of foul cloths to Datchet-lane; they took me on their shoulders, met the jealous knave their mafter in the door, who afk'd them once or twice what they had in their basket; I quak'd for fear, left the lunatick knave would have fearch'd it; but fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well, on went he for a search, and away went I for foul cloths; but mark the sequel, mafter Brook; I fuffer'd the pangs of three egregious deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to be detected by a jealous rotten bell-weather; next, to be compass'd like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head; and then, to be stop'd in, like a strong diftillation, with stinking cloths that fretted in their own greafe: think of that, a man of my kidney; think of that, that am as fubject to heat as butter; a man of continual diffolution and thaw; it was miracle to 'scape fuffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stew'd in greafe like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd glowing hot in that furge, lie a horse-shoe; think of that; hiffing hot; think of that, m after Brook.


Ford. In good fadnefs, fir, I am forry that for my fake you fuffer'd all this. My fuit is then defperate; you'll undertake her no more?

Fal. Mafter Brook, I will be thrown into Etna as I have been
int。 Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this


morning gone a birding; I have receiv'd from her another embaffy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, mafter Brook.

Ford. 'Tis paft eight already, fir.

Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leifure, and you fhall know how I speed; and the conclufion fhall be crown'd with your enjoying her; adieu: you fhall have her, master Brook; mafter Brook, you fball cuckold Ford. [Exit. Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vifion is this a dream? do I fleep? mafter Ford, awake; awake, mafter Ford; there's a hole made in your beft coat, mafter Ford: this 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen, and buck-baskets! well, I will proclaim myself what I am; I will now take the lecher; he is at my house; he cannot 'fcape me; 'tis impoffible he should; he cannot creep into a half-penny purfe, nor into a pepper-box. But, left the devil that guides him fhould aid him, I will fearch impoffible places; though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not fhall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn-mad.




Page's boufe.

Enter mistress Page, mistress Quickly, and William.
Mrs. PAGE.

S he at mistress Ford's already, think’st thou ?


Quic. Sure, he is by this, or will be presently; but, truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water miftrefs Ford defires you to come fuddenly.

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young man here to school. Look, where his mafter comes; 'tis a playingday, I fee. How now, fir Hugh, no school to-day ?


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Enter Evans.

Eva. No; mafter Slender is let the boys leave to play.
Quic. Bleffing of his heart!

Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband fays, my fon profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you, ask him some questions in his accidence.

Eva. Come hither, William; hold up your head, come.

Mrs. Page. Come on, firrah; hold up your head; answer your mafter, be not afraid.

Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns ?

Will. Two.

Quic. Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they fay, odd's nowns.

Eva. Peace your tatlings. What is Fair, William?
Will. Pulcher.

Quic. Poulcats? there are fairer things than poulcats, fure. Eva. You are a very fimplicity 'oman; I pray you, peace. What is Lapis, William?

Will. A ftone.

Eva. And what is a ftone, William?

Will. A pebble.

Eva. No, it is Lapis: I pray you, remember in your prain.
Will. Lapis.

Eva. That is a good William: what is he, William, that does lend articles?

Will. Articles are borrow'd of the pronoun,and be thus declin❜d, Angulariter nominativo, hic, hæc, hoc.

Eva. Nominativo, big, bag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo, Bujus: well, what is your accufative cafe?

Will. Accufative, hinc.

Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; accufative,

Bung, bang, bog.

Quic. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.
Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative cafe,



Will. O, vocativo, o.

Eva. Remember, William, focative is, caret.

Quic. And that's a good root.
Eva. 'Oman, forbear.

Mrs. Page. Peace.

Eva. What is your genitive cafe plural, William?
Will. Genitive cafe?

Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive, horum, harum, borum.

Quic. 'Vengeance of Giney's cafe! fie on her! never name her, child, if fhe be a whore.

Eva. For fhame, 'oman.

Quic. You do ill to teach the child fuch words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves ; and to call horum; fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunacies? haft thou no understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? thou art as foolish christian creatures as I would defire.

Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace.

Eva. Show me now, William, fome declenfions of your pronouns.

Will. Forfooth, I have forgot.

Eva. It is, qui, quæ, quod; if you forget your qui's, your qua's, and your quod's, you must be preeches; go your ways, and play, go Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he was. Eva. He is a good fprag memory. Farewel, mistress Page. Mrs. Page. Adieu, good fir Hugh. Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long. [Exeunt




Ford's house.

Enter Falftaff, and mistress Ford.

ISTRESS Ford, your forrow hath eaten up my
sufferance; I fee, you are obfequious in your love





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