ignis fatuus, or a ball of wildfire, there's no purchase in money. O, thou art a perpetual triumph, an everlasting bonfire-light! Thou hast saved me And I will die a hundred thousand deaths, Enter Blunt. How now, good Blunt? thy looks are full of speed. Lord Mortimer of Scotland hath sent word,- K. Hen. The earl of Westmoreland set forth With him my son, lord John of Lancaster; count, with thee in the night, betwixt tavern and tavern: but the sack that thou hast drunk me, would have bought me lights as good cheap, at the dearest chandler's in Europe. I have maintained that salamander of yours with fire, any time this two and thirty years; Heaven reward me for it! Bard. 'Sblood, I would my face were in your belly! Fal. God-a-mercy! so should I be sure to be heart-burned. Enter Hostess. How now, dame Partlet the hen?6 have you inquired yet, who pick'd my pocket? Host. Why, sir John! what do you think, sir John? Do you think I keep thieves in my house? I have searched, I have inquired, so has my husband, man by man, boy by boy, servant by servant: the tithe of a hair was never lost in my house before. Fal. You lie, hostess; Bardolph was shaved, and lost many a hair: and I'll be sworn, my pocket was picked: Go to, you are a woman, go. Host. Who, I? I defy thee: I was never called Our business valued, some twelve days hence Our general forces at Bridgnorth shall meet. Our hands are full of business: let's away;" Advantage feeds him fat,3 while men delay. [Exe.so in mine own house before. Fal. Go to, I know you well enough. SCENE III-Eastcheap. A room in the Boar's Host. No, sir John; you do not know me, sir Head Tavern. Enter Falstaff and Bardolph. John: I know you, sir John: you owe me me..sy, Fal. Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since sir John, and now you pick a quarrel to beguile me this last action? do I not bate? do I not dwindle?of it: I bought you a dozen of shirts to your back. Why, my skin hangs about me like an old lady's loose gown; I am wither'd like an old apple-John. Well, I'll repent, and that suddenly, while I am in some liking I shall be out of heart shortly, and then I shall have no strength to repent. An I have not forgotten what the inside of a church is made of, I am a pepper-corn, a brewer's horse: the inside of a church! Company, villanous company, hath been the spoil of me. Bard. Sir John, you are so fretful, you cannot live long. Fal. Dowlas, filthy dowlas: I have given them away to bakers' wives, and they have made bolters of them. Host. Now, as I am a true woman, holland of eight shillings an ell. You owe money here besides, sir John, for your diet, and by-drinkings, and money lent you, four and twenty pound. Fal. He had his part of it; let him pay. Host. He? alas, he is poor; he hath nothing. Fal. How poor? look upon his face; What call you rich? let them coin his nose, let them coin his cheeks; I'll not pay a denier. What, will you make a younker of me? shall I not take mine ease in mine inn, but I shall have my pocket picked? I have lost a seal-ring of my grandfather's, worth forty Fal. Why, there is it :-come, sing me a bawdy song; make me merry. I was as virtuously given, as a gentleman need to be; virtuous enough: swore little; diced, not above seven times a week; went to a bawdy-house, not above once in a quarter-mark. of an hour; paid money that I borrowed, three or four times; lived well, and in good compass: and now I live out of all order, out of all compass. Bard. Why, you are so fat, sir John, that you must needs be out of all compass; out of all reasonable compass, sir John. Fal. Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life: Thou art our admiral,5 thou bearest the lantern in the poop,-but 'tis in the nose of thee; thou art the knight of the burning lamp. Bard. Why, sir John, my face does you no harm. Fal. No, I'll be sworn; I make as good use of it as many a man doth of a death's head, or a memento mori: I never see thy face, but I think upon hell-fire, and Dives that lived in purple; for there he is in his robes, burning, burning. If thou wert any way given to virtue, I would swear by thy face; my oath should be, By this fire: but thou art altogether given over; and wert indeed, but for the light in thy face, the son of utter darkness. When thou ran'st up Gads-hill in the night to catch my horse, if I did not think thou hadst been an (1) Part. (2) Intelligence. (3) Feeds himself. (4) Have some flesh (5) Admiral's ship. Host. O Jesu! I have heard the prince tell him, I know not how oft, that that ring was copper. Fal. How the prince is a Jack, a sneak-cup; and, if he were here, I would cudgel him like a dog, if he would say so. Enter Prince Henry and Poins, marching. Falstaff meets the Prince, playing on his truncheon like a fife. Fal. How now, Bard. Yea, two and two, Newgate-fashion. P. Hen. What sayest thou, mistress Quickly? How does thy husband? I love him well, he is an honest man. Host. Good my lord, hear me. Fal. Pr'ythee, let her alone, and list to me. Fal. The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras, and had my pocket picked this house (6) In the story-book of Reynard the Fox. (7) A term of contempt frequently used by Shakspeare. is turned bawdy-house, they pick pockets. P. Hen. A trifle, some eight-penny matter. Host. So I told him, my lord; and I said, I heard your grace say so: And, my lord, he speaks most vilely of you, like a foul-mouthed man as he is; and said, he would cudgel you. P. Hen. What! he did not? Host. There's neither faith, truth, nor womanhood in me else. Fal. There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune; nor no more truth in thee, than in a drawn fox; and for womanhood, maid Marian may be the deputy's wife of the ward to thee. Go, you thing, go. poor Jack Falstaff do, in the days of villany? Thou seest, I have more flesh than another man; and therefore more frailty.You confess then, you picked my pocket? P. Hen. It appears so by the story. Fal. Hostess, I forgive thee: Go, make ready breakfast; love thy husband, look to thy servants, cherish thy guests: thou shalt find me tractable to any honest reason: thou seest, I am pacified.—Still? -Nay, pr'ythee, be gone. [Exit Hostess.] Now, Hal, to the news at court: for the robbery, lad,— How is that answered? P. Hen. O, my sweet beef, I must still be good angel to thee:-The money is paid back again. Fal. O, I do not like that paying back, 'tis a double labour. P. Hen. I am good friends with my father, and may do any thing. Fal. Rob me the exchequer the first thing thou Bard. Do, my lord. Host. Say, what thing? what thing? Fal. What thing? why, a thing to thank God on.doest, and do it with unwashed hands too. Host. I am no thing to thank God on, I would thou should'st know it; I am an honest man's wife: and, setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to call me so. Fal. Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beast to say otherwise. Host. Say, what beast, thou knave thou? P. Hen. An otter, sir John? why an otter? Fal. Why? she's neither fish, nor flesh; a man knows not where to have her. Host. Thou art an unjust man in saying so; thou or any man knows where to have me, thou knave thou! P. Hen. Thou sayest true, hostess; and he slanders thee most grossly. Host. So he doth you, my lord; and said this other day, you ought him a thousand pound. P Hen. Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound? Fal. A thousand pound, Hal? a million: thy love is worth a million; thou owest me thy love. Host. Nay, my lord, he called you Jack, and said, he would cudgel you. Fal. Did I, Bardolph? Bard. Indeed, sir John, you said so. Fal. Yea; if he said, my ring was copper. good as thy word now? P. Hen. I have procured thee, Jack, a charge of foot. Fal. I would, it had been of horse. Where shall find one that can steal well? O for a fine thief, of the age of two-and-twenty, or thereabouts! I am heinously unprovided. Well, God be thanked for these rebels, they offend none but the virtuous; I laud them, I praise them. P. Hen. Bardolph- P. Hen. Go tear this letter to lord John of My brother John; this to my lord of Westmore- Go, Poins, to horse, to horse; for thou, and I, Meet me to-morrow i'the Temple hall, There shalt thou know thy charge; and there re- Money, and order for their furniture. [Exeunt Prince, Poins, and Bardolph. Fal. Rare words! brave world!Hostess, my breakfast, come : Fal. Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but O, I could wish, this tavern were my drum. [Exit. man, I dare: but, as thou art prince, I fear thee, as I fear the roaring of the lion's whelp. P. Hen. And why not, as the lion? ACT IV. SCENE I-The rebel camp, near Shrewsbury. P. Hen. O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about thy knees! But, sirrah, there's no room for Enter Hotspur, Worcester, and Douglas. faith, truth, nor honesty, in this bosom of thine: it Hot. Well said, my noble Scot: If speaking truth, is filled up with guts, and midriff. Charge an In this fine age, were not thought flattery, honest woman with picking thy pocket! Why, thou Such attribution should the Douglas3 have, whoreson, impudent, embossed2 rascal, if there As not a soldier of this season's stamp were any thing in thy pocket but tavern-reckonings, Should go so general current through the world. memorandums of bawdy-houses, and one poor pen-By heaven, I cannot flatter; I defy ny-worth of sugar-candy, to make thee long- The tongues of soothers; but a braver place winded; if thy pocket were enriched with any In my heart's love, hath no man than yourself: other injuries but these, I am a villain. And yet Nay, task me to the word: approve me, lord. you will stand to it; you will not pocket up wrong Doug. Thou art the king of honour: Art thou not ashamed? No man so potent breathes upon the ground, But I will beards him. Hot. Do so, and 'tis well :(3) This expression is applied by way of preeminence to the head of the Douglas family. (4) Disdain. (5) Meet him face to face. Fal. Dost thou hear, Hal? thou knowest, in the state of innocency, Adam fell; and what should (1) A man dressed like a woman, who attends morris-dancers. (2) Swoln, puffy. :| Enter a Messenger, with letters. Hot. You strain too far. What letters hast thou there?—I can but thank you.I, rather, of his absence make this use;— Mess. He cannot come, my lord; he's grievous sick. Hot. Zounds! how has he the leisure to be sick, Mess. His letters bear his mind, not I, my lord. Wor. I would, the state of time had first been Ere he by sickness had been visited; His health was never better worth than now. Hot. Sick now! droop now! this sickness doth The very life-blood of our enterprise; Wor. Your father's sickness is a maim to us. To set the exact wealth of all our states Doug. A comfort of retirement lives in this. Hot. A rendezvous, a home to fly unto, If that the devil and mischance look big Upon the maidenhead of our affairs. It lends a lustre, and more great opinion, Spoke of in Scotland, as this term of fear. Enter Sir Richard Vernon. Hot. My cousin Vernon! welcome, by my soul. lord. The earl of Westmoreland, seven thousand strong, Ver. Hot. He shall be welcome too. Where is his son Ver. And vaulted with such ease into his seat, This praise doth nourish agues. Let them come; And yet not ours :-Come, let me take my horse, Wor. But yet, I would your father had been Against the bosom of the prince of Wales: here. The quality and hair of our attempt Of our proceedings, kept the earl from hence; And stop all sight-holes, every loop, from whence (1) Forces. (2) Languishing. (3) Informed. Harry to Harry shall, bot horse to horse, There is more news: I learn'd in Worcester, as I rode along, Hot. (7) Threw off. (8) Dressed with ostrich feathers. Doug. Talk not of dying; I am out of fear Fal. Bardolph, get thee before to Coventry; fill me a bottle of sack: our soldiers shall march through; we'll to Sutton-Colfield to-night. Bard. Will you give me money, captain? Bard. This bottle makes an angel. Fal. An if it do, take it for thy labour; and if age. theft hath already made thee butter. But tell me, Jack; whose fellows are these that come after? Fal. Mine, Hal, mine. P. Hen. I did never see such pitiful rascals. Fal. Tut, tut; good enough to toss; food for powder, food for powder; they'll fill a pit, as well as better: tush, man, mortal men, mortal men. West. Ay, but, sir John, methinks they are exceeding poor and bare; too beggarly. Fal. Faith, for their poverty,-I know not where they had that and for their bareness,—I am sure, they never learned that of me. P. Hen. No, I'll be sworn; unless you call three Percy is already in the field. Fal. What, is the king encamped? West. He is, sir John; I fear, we shall stay too long. Fal. Well, To the latter end of a fray, and the beginning of a feast, Fits a dull fighter, and a keen guest. [Exeunt. SCENE III-The rebel camp near Shrewsbury. non. Hot. We'll fight with him to-night. It may not be. Hot. it make twenty, take them all, I'll answer the coin-fingers on the ribs, bare. But, sirrah, make haste; Bid my lieutenant Peto meet me at the town's end. Bard. I will, captain: farewell. [Exit. Fal. If I be not ashamed of my soldiers, I am a souced gurnet. I have misused the king's press damnably. I have got, in exchange of a hundred and fifty soldiers, three hundred and odd pounds. I press me none but good householders, yeomen's sons inquire me out contracted bachelors, such as had been asked twice on the banns; such a commodity of warm slaves, as had as lief hear the devil as a drum; such as fear the report of a caliver,2 worse than a struck fowl, or a hurt wild-duck. I pressed me none but such toasts and butter, with hearts in their bellies no bigger than pin's heads, and they have bought out their services; and now my whole charge consists of ancients, corporals, lieutenants, gentlemen of companies, slaves as ragged as Lazarus in the painted cloth, where the glutton's dogs licked his sores: and such as, indeed, were never soldiers; but discarded unjust serving-men, younger sons to younger brothers, revolted tapsters, and ostlers trade-fallen; the cankers of a calm world, and a long peace; ten times more dishonourable ragged than an old faced ancient :3 and such have I, to fill up the rooms of them that have bought out their services, that you would think, that I had a hundred and fifty tattered prodigals, lately come from swine-keeping, from eating draff and husks. A mad fellow met me on the way, and told me, I had unloaded all the gibbets, and pressed the dead bodies. No eye hath seen such scarecrows. I'll not march through Coventry with them, that's flat-Nay, and the villains march wide beCome, come, it may not be. twixt the legs, as if they had gyves4 on: for, indeed, I wonder much, being men of such great leading, I had the most of them out of prison. There's but a That you foresee not what impediments shirt and a half in all my company; and the half-Drag back our expedition: Certain horse shirt is two napkins, tacked together, and thrown over the shoulders, like a herald's coat without sleeves; and the shirt, to say the truth, stolen from my host at Saint Alban's, or the red-nose innkeeper of Daintry.5 But that's all one; they'll find linen enough on every hedge. Enter Prince Henry and Westmoreland. P. Hen. How now, blown Jack? how now, quilt? Fal. What, Hal? How now, mad wag? what a devil dost thou in Warwickshire?-My good lord of Westmoreland, I cry you mercy; I thought your honour had already been at Shrewsbury. West. 'Faith, sir John, 'tis more than time that] I were there, and you too; but my powers are there already: The king, I can tell you, looks for us all; we must away all night. Fal. Tut, never fear me; I am as vigilant as a cat to steal cream. You do not counsel well; Yea, or to-night. Hot. To-night, say I. Content. Of my cousin Vernon's are not yet come up: Hot. So are the horses of the enemy Wor. The number of the king exceedeth ours: [The trumpet sounds a parley. Enter Sir Walter Blunt. But stand against us like an enemy. So long as, out of limit, and true rule, But, to my charge.-The king hath sent to know Hot. The king is kind; and, well we know, the Knows at what time to promise, when to pay. -as greatness knows itself,- Disgrac'd me in my happy victories; Too indirect for long continuance. Blunt. Shall I return this answer to the king? Hot. And, may be, so we shall. 'Pray heaven, you do! [Exeunt. SCENE IV-York. A rpom in the archbishop's house. Enter the Archbishop of York, and a Gentleman. Arch. Hie, good sir Michael; bear this sealed With winged haste, to the lord mareshal; I guess their tenor. Arch. Like enough you do. Wherein the fortune of ten thousand men The king, with mighty and quick-raised power, Gent. Why, good my lord, you need not fear; And Mortimer. Arch. Percy, And there's my lord of Worcester; and a head Arch. And so there is: but yet the king hath drawn The special head of all the land together;- Gent. Doubt not, my lord, they shall be well Arch. I hope no less, yet needful 'tis to fear; ACT V. SCENE 1.-The king's camp near Shrewsbury. K. Hen. How bloodily the sun begins to peer (5) A strength on which we reckoned. |