THE WHITE HAT.

But judging right-" If aught can do it,
London's the place for getting through it,'
On Portsmouth soon he turn'd his tail,
And bore for town with press of sail.
Jocund his look-all toils forgot,

Jogg'd on, he thus or said or thought :-
"If Fortune messes on the earth,

I'm sure enough stow'd in her berth;
What thof I've wander'd three long years,
Left Poll love-sick and drown'd in tears-
What thof, on bounding billows borne,
Felt battle's rage and tempest's storm;
Now safe and rich I tread the shore,
And toils and dangers are no more—–
How great do present blessings seem!
And troubles past-how like a dream!”
Of moral jaw, how long a spell
He would have ta'en, I cannot tell;
But from his maintop looking out,
He spied, which made him tack about,
A neat brick house, close by the road,
Where, o'er the window, hung a board
To tell the traveller its merits,

In porter, ale, and foreign spirits;
And to invite both man and beast
To enter and refresh or feast.
Jack, rather wearied with his walk,
This invitation would not baulk,
But enter'd his tir'd limbs to rest,
And call'd for some'at of the best.
The Landlord, ready at his post,
Soon set before him Britain's boast,
A good sirloin, so nice and brown,
And nappy ale to wash it down.
Our Tar, by appetite made brief,
Did ample justice to the beef,
And speedy-(for so sharp his case,
He stopp'd not even to say grace-
Nor pickle did he need, nor salad,
To stimulate his hungry palate)-
Unus'd at table long to stay,
Swallow'd his ale, and call'd to pay;

The

The bill, on Landlord's fingers counted,
To four and three-pence net amounted.
Jack from his fob a guinea drew,
And toss'd it down to pay his due;
The host declar'd, cash was so strange,
He could not give his Honour change.
"Ne'er mind," quoth Jack, “ just now-but when
From London I return again,

You'll know me; and I'll tell by what,

Be sure remember this white hat-
Then twirl'd his hat, and off he went,
Leaving old Boniface content.

At every inn where'er he stay'd,
His reck'ning in this manner paid,
The white hat serv'd to dozens more
The self-same signal as before.

'At length arriv'd in town-he flew
To meet his Poll, so kind and true;
From her ripe ruby lips to hear
Th' applause, to British seamen dear ;
To treat her to the play, the ball,
The gardens, Circus, and Vauxhall ;
To feast and revel all the day,
And kiss the fleeting night away.

It needs no foresight to discover
This kind of work would soon be over-
Time flew as if on wings of wind,
And Jack, too late, began to find
That, if you spend your money fast,
The heaviest purse will fail at last.
He knew that none but fools could think
To live on shore without the chink ;
And quick resolv'd to go to sea,
To make more cash for Poll and he.

Had I the knack to show the heart
Of loving sweethearts when they part,
I here most movingly had painted
How much Poll wept-nay, even fainted-
How sad Jack snatch'd the parting kiss,
And bade a long adieu to bliss-
But, this not hitting with my taste,
I to my tale return in haste.

For

THE WHITE HAT.

For Portsmouth now, so fate inclin'd,
Jack steers, nor casts one look behind.
Some four leagues made with passing speed,
He o'ertook one of Abram's seed,
Whose bended back a glittering store'
Of golden toys and trinkets bore,
Such as poor landsmen grieve to pass,
When sailors treat their fav'rite lass.
As travellers of every station
Soon enter into conversation,

Jack and the Jew full quickly found
Whence each had sail'd, and whither bound;
And as both steer'd for the same port,
Resolv'd to make their course, by convoy, short.

Of various things they talk'd-of snakes and toads,
And Buonaparte, and the dirty roads-

Our Tar was griev'd there was no war this year-
Moses regretted "travelling vash so tear."
"Ho!" says the Tar," that alters not my plight,
This magic hat pays every bill at sight;

A look of it soon settles every claim,
Whether for meat or drink, 't is all the same.'
Moses was too polite to say "he lied;"
But only begg'd to see its virtues tried.
Jack now resolv'd, since he had begun,
To have his joke, and carry on the fun.
An inn just then appearing pat,
To prove the merits of the hat,
They enter, eat and drink their fill,
The magic hat settles the bill.

Moses was half-convinc'd by the first bout,
And two 'r three more dispell'd all doubt.
The value of the hat appear'd so great,
He was resolv'd to have't at any rate.
Jack's strength was such, that open force,
He saw, would be a dang'rous course;

But craft remain'd, and that was Moses' forte,
To it, of course, he made his first resort.
Some miles from Portsmouth, he began
To sound our Tar upon this plan;
Swore 't was a shame to take to sea
What there would wholly useless be;

39

Which

Which folks on shore would gladly buy,
Nor think the highest price too high.
All this being well receiv'd by Jack,
The Jew soon offer'd him his pack,
With golden toys and trinkets fill'd,
Three hundred pounds the worth upheld:
To which objections first being stated,
The bargain was at length completed.

In Portsmouth now, with mirth at heart,
The well-pleas'd pair full gladly part-
Jack bids farewell in friendly guise,
And soon disposes of his prize;

Then skips on board, where fav'ring gales
Already kiss the fluttering sails,

Relating to the jovial crew

How he had taken in the Jew.

The roaring laugh resounds through all the shore,
And all the waves in ready chorus roar.
Meanwhile the Jew, resolv'd t' enjoy
Each good his wondrous hat could buy ;
He sent, and went all Portsmouth round,
Where'er an Israelite was found,

T invite them all with him to dine-
Under the rose-nice fish and wine.

You need not doubt that all came cheerily,
The table groan'd, and beards wagg'd merrily-
And, to conclude this famous feasting,
They all got drunk as beast, or Christian-
By dozens sunk upon the purple ground,
And Jew on Jew lay tumbling round,
Till stupor left them on their backs supine,
Their floating beards well drench'd in rosy wine-
Then carried off the field, in chairs or beds
Leave we the tribe to rest their aching heads.
By th' bill next day poor Moses found

The cost vash more tan fifty pound;
But what need Moses care for that?
He only had to show his hat:
So, as he to depart prepar'd,

66

His hat he took-the Landlord star'd-
Why, Sir, you will not use me ill,
You surely mean to pay your bill!"-

"My

"

AGGREGATE MEETING Of Dublin.

My bill! vy yesh-be not afraid---
Look at my hat -de bill ish paid !".
"Look at your hat! Damme, d'ye see,
You must not crack your jokes on me:
Pay me this instant on the nail,
Or, by the L-d, you go to jail,
Your hat, indeed! you swindling sot-
I've bought a better for a groat!"

Moses, thus gull'd, found, to his cost,
The virtues of the hat were lost!
He swore, protested, groan'd, and rav'd,
Yet from a jail could not be sav’d,
Though he applied to all his cronies,
To lend him, on his bond, the monies.
Their answers only taught him--that
Friendship's as rare as Magic Hat ;
That to feed daily at your table,
And pigeon you of what they're able→→→→
And to assist you in your need-
Are very different things indeed!

I think, I here declare before all,
A tale is nought without a moral :
I trust my moral all will hit,
Which shows-a biter's often bit.

41

AGGREGATE MEETING OF DUBLIN.

[From the same, Oct. 11.]

THE SPEECH OF AN EMINENT SEEDSMAN, INTENDED. TO HAVE BEEN SPOKEN AT THE LATE MEETING, WHICH THE PRESSURE OF THE CROWD PREVENTED HIM FROM

DELIVERING.

6

MR. R. ******, springing up, said, "I shall endcavour to develope the seeds of the nation's decay.. The powers of increase and growing prosperity' have been planted in the soil by the Great Gardener of nature, until the infant blade has been nipped by. the rude blast of the Union. For my part, I am unable to explain, how Ireland could bear fruit, while grafted