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In which secure they thought to say
Whatever they might have to bray.
Their leaders wish'd to raise a storm,
By bawling out, "Reform, Reform ! ! !"

An Ass they call'd" Black Bob" began
"Too long we 've borne the yoke of man ;
'Tis time that we should let him see
That British Asses will be free:
Our ancestors, who yielded first
To bear his loads, were not so curst
As we are now; nor did they think
Their sons the bitter cup would drink,
Which we, though writhing with the pain,
Are to the dregs compell'd to drain.
Then let us, oh! my friends, unite,
And make the Tyrant feel our spite."

A visitor, who now came in,

:

Who might have boasted nobler kin,
Here rose but while they view'd his phiz,
'T was thought he only meant to quiz.
A sneer he hastily repress'd,

And thus the long-ear'd throng address'd :
"My friends, you 're treated with neglect,
Some change we somehow must effect;
Things as they are will never do,
For I am dish'd as well as you.
Did you, O Donkies! know your strength,
All you desire you'd gain at length;
Be but unanimous as warm,

And who will dare refuse Reform?
I to the last will by you stand,
And they shall find in me a Brand ;
Who tear me from you in my ire,
A flaming Brand pluck'd from the fire."

An Ass, well known upon the town,
A stupid Ass, whom they call'd Brown,
Who late had serv'd a certain Dame,
To whom he ow'd his well-earn'd fame
(She gave him Villain for his name),
Now rose to speak; but soon the elf
Forgot Reform-spoke of himself;

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And,

THE LONG-EARED REFORMERS.

And, thoughtless of the nation's cares,
Talk'd only of his own affairs.
Upon this subject long he dwelt,
And spoke as if indeed he felt.
At last he swore, that in the strife
With power he 'd boldly risk his life.
He paus'd-a horse or donkey laugh
Prov'd he had said too much by half.
A grave old hack, whose lengthen'd years
Bore some proportion to his ears,
On his hind-legs, before the host
Now stood, and seem'd a grizzled ghost.
This venerable Ass, 't is said,

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Had long since made Reform his trade;
He'd borne a Cartwright's burdens long,
Reform his object and his song.

And now he rose to urge to action
The long-ear'd patriotic faction:
"Donkies," he cried, “ hear what I say➡-
Ere you could either snort or bray,
I sought, with public spirit warm,
A full and radical Reform;
And now I'm old enough to be
Reform's Grand Daddy, as you see.
Though years ago I had begun,
And nothing has as yet been done,
Yet let us not a morsel flinch-
No! de, don't draw back an inch;
For since each year augments our powers,
Success must in the end be ours.

A Revolution must take place,

And we shall thrive on man's disgrace.
Then, oh! my heroes, persevere,
And play the devil without fear;
Distinctly I will show the way,
Upon the twenty-third of May;
When 't is my hope to see you all
In Moorfields Quarters, or Guildhall.”
Th' assembly thought his counsel good.
An Ass now rose who carried Wood;

213

His

His head was but a pond'rous block,
Well form'd to meet the battle's shock
;
"T was empty-or 't was full of mud,
Thence nonsense flow'd a copious flood,
Fill'd all his friends with rage and shame,
And e'en disgrac'd the Asses' name.
He now extended wide his throat,
And rais'd a most harmonious note;
But while his powers he thus display'd,
While still most musical he bray'd,
The peaceful neighbours, fury heating,
Hasten'd to end this solemn meeting,
And give the Orators a beating.
As swift they ran to beat the cattle,
As watchmen fly when springs the rattle,
The Asses' glee to grief is turn'd,
The meeting's hastily adjourn'd.
In vain they strive the foe to fly,
In vain for mercy loud they cry;
In vain they wish in this sad hour
To bolt like Sly-go* from the Tower;
Each Ass in turn the stick employs,
Each gets a drubbing for his noise,
Till weak, exhausted, bruis'd, and sore,
They think about Reform no more.

MORAL.

Learn hence, ye T-rs, to be quiet,
And tremble at th' effects of riot.

THEATRICALS EXTRAORDINARY.

[From the Morning Chronicle, May 14.]

THE Celebration of the Triumph of Mummery - over the legitimate Drama, consummated in the rejection of Mr. Mellish's Bill, was commemorated at the White Horse Cellar last Friday. The Patentces of

* An Ass of some note.

Covent

Covent Garden were seated at the top of a horse-shoe table, which was filled by the troop of equestrians. Several deputies from the provincial booths were also present the Hottentot Venus was at a side-table, as the smell of meat affects her, being accustomed to live chiefly on train-oil. The dinner abounded in all the delicacies of the season: The only novelties were a roasted haunch of a two-year old filly, which Mr. Harris declared in his opinion to be equal to venison, and a fricassee of horse-beans, of which it was observed Mr. Kemble ate a prodigious quantity, upou the principle that they greatly improve the wind. The wines were excellent and in profusion, and the utmost hilarity prevailed. Among the toasts we noticed, with particular pleasure, some highly anti-dramatic and appropriate." Confusion to Shakspeare" was drank with three times three; "The Four-in-Hand Club, and success to them;"-" May Riding flourish and Plays decay;""The Veterinaria, breaking, backing, and bitting ;"-"The Cause of still-vaulting all over the world," &c. &c.-Two or three very ingenious sentiments were added by a fire-eater, whose name we could not learn- Monopolizing Patentees, and the Spaniards;" and "You may bring a Horse to the water, but you can't make him drink;" and many others equally good, which memory failed us to record. Upon Mr. Harris's health being drank, that Gentleman got up and returned thanks, but in so low a voice we could with difficulty ascertain what he said. He adverted with great feeling to the O. P. war, which bad considerably embarrassed him. He confessed he had long balanced between tumblers and horses, as a stimulus to public curiosity, but decided on the latter as the greatest and most monstrous novelty. At this period of Mr. H.'s speech Mr. Sheridan came into the room, dinner being as usual completely over; and his health being proposed to be

given, he begged for a short delay, till he had taken a snack, which was immediately procured: during his repast he conversed with his usual affability with the Hottentot Venus on various topics-the modes of making love and war, and hasty-pudding, in Africa; the size of their Theatres; the merits of their dramatic writers; and the amount of their national debt. To all which she answered in a way which astonished and delighted him. In return, she expatiated on his transcendant abilities, and put into his hands a manuscript Melo-Drama, founded on the story of Aningait and Ajut, which he, according to immemorial custom, put into his pocket, and promised to read the earliest possible opportunity. Mr. Kemble's health being now given, he rose, and in a speech, to which it is impossible to do adequate justice, embraced and elucidated a variety of topics. He treated, with merited contempt, the squibs and crackers which had exploded against him in the newspapers-they called him Marshal Neigh, and sneered at his having con-fessed that he derived benefit from breathing a horsedung atmosphere on the principles of the immortal Beddoes; but supported, as he was, by the good opinion of the respectable society (hear! hear!) then present, and particularly distinguished by the countenance of one man, whose praise was fame, he suffered the clamours of the public to pass by him like the idle wind, unregarded-"Yes," said he, "scandal had gone so far as to insinuate that my predilection for Horses was such, that, like Lord Monboddo's original man, I had determined to let my tail grow, and go on all fours-what then was the conduct of my dear, my highly-endowed friend?-he got up in the great; -Council of the Nation, and openly declared the report -unfounded, and that I had all my life acted, and still. intended to act, on my two legs. What he further, smentioned there on the subject of the depravity of

taste,

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