AN AFFECTING EPISTLB. 17501 That the De'il would ride rough-shod through Lincoln and London, And the Bank be whereas'd, and poor Hymen be undone : And John Bull gorges all these predictions presumptive,, As the sick gobble buttermilk when they 're consumptive. Methought, as I slept t' other night (I'd been vapoury), A large Lady came to me in fine azure drapery; With an anchor she held in her fist by a rope, And a bouquet of shamrock; she call'd herself Hope. When she said, "Pat, nae bocklish, but sit still and listen: April 1st, 1811, Next door to the Griffin and Tooth-ach, in Little Britain. FADYEEN. P. S. I am now in the doldrums; but when I get better, I will send you by post t'other half of this letter. On the seventeenth ult. all the sons of Saint Pat Then the song went around, and the glee and the toast, Tell the Widow Mullowney, I'm hers till I die, SCARCITY OF SILVER. TO THE EDITOR OF THE MORNING CHRONICLE. SIR, [April 17.] } IAM sure, if that worthy man George Fisher, accountant, the well-known author of the Young Man's best Companion, were alive, he would in his questions for exercise have introduced the following "If a light guinea be worth in paper currency 16.4s. 3d. what is a heavy guinea worth in the same currency ?Answer, 17. 4s. 6d." When the little boy, after a great deal of puzzling, had made out the answer, I think I see the venerable George Fisher mildly chucking his pupil under the chin, and thus addressing this decimal fraction of a tradesman's large family: "My dear Bobby, this sum is only to be worked on a slate, from whence it can be readily spunged off; but you must not enter it into your sum-book, because, my dear Bobby, though right by the rule of three, it is wrong by the rule of fact; a heavy guinea is worth but 17. is. in the paper currency."-" But one pound one!" exclaims Bobby; "why, I multiplied the third by the second, and divided by the first, and the answer came out 1l. 4s. 6d."—"Ah! but, my dear Bobby," replies George Fisher," the bankers have so multiplied the paper, and so divided their bonusses, that in this instance the common rules of arithmetic are entirely violated; yea, the very intrinsic value of things is changed; for, lo! a light guinea is more valuable, with reference to Bank-notes, than a heavy guinea; for the light guinea you can get 17. 4s, 3d, and for the heavy guinea but 1. 1S." This is very strange,' " says SCARCITY OF SILVER, 177 says Bobby; "I'll tell my father of it."-" Your father, knows it already."-" But why don't people sell their heavy guineas, and get 17. 4s. 6d. for them?" rejoins Bobby. "They are prevented by an Act of Parliament."" But is it not very absurd that an Act of Parlia—" ment, he would have said, had not George Fisher ordered him to go to his seat, and leave the mysteries of the Mint to the Clerk of the Meltings. But of guineas let us not speak; it is a tale of other times. With the Bank of England we may well exclaim, De mortuis nil nisi bonum; that is, of the defunct there is no vestige but the Bonus: the amount of that indeed, and the immense rise in the value of Bank Stock, are the legacies which guineas bequeathed to the Governor and Company of the Bank of England, when they expired in the year 1797. Within the space of thirteen years from that period, the marketable value of 100l. Bank Stock has risen from something less than 128. to very near 280l.; the dividend has been increased from 7 to 10 per cent.; and bonusses, to the amount of 32 per cent. have been distributed among the Proprietors. I see you have published (p. 170) my humble suggestions upon the want of change; and here, that they may have a chance of being read by all parties, let me clearly explain, that, under the expression want of change, there is not the slightest allusion to the removal of the Honourable Spencer Perceval from his situation of Clerk of the Meltings, or of any other, the slightest, alteration in the Ministry. By change, I strictly wish to be understood to mean crowns, half-crowns, shillings, and sixpences, which have now nearly, and in the course of a few weeks will altogether, disappear. The remedy I have proposed is not, like the sinkingfund, founded upon theory, but has been actually carried into execution in the Sister Kingdom; and I am certain that the Directors of the Bank of Ireland, who have been indefatigable in their endeavours to buy S up all the bad shillings and recoin them, pro bono publico, into twopenny pieces, will readily communicate with their brethren of the Bank of England on this interesting subject, send them samples of their farrago, lend them their die, and, as Mr. Davy may not have any test to ascertain it, reveal the extreme degree of baseness to which they have been obliged to descend in their endeavours to accommodate the Irish public. At all events, let me deprecate any thing like the issuing of notes under one pound: the sufferings of the people in Ireland, particularly the poorer classes, in consequence of such an arrangement, were dreadful. Every petty shopkeeper, become a banker, issued his paper, bought bad goods, and put what price he pleased upon them, certain that his neighbours must buy them, because his paper had no currency except from his counter to his till. Oh, no! any thing except five shilling and two-and-sixpenny notes-rather than that, let the brass pots and kettles, as in the time of James II. be called in, melted, and coined— but no more paper, for the sake of common humanity! I am now called away to see a very fine ram, upon which, I am informed, Sir John Sinclair is to ride round the hall of the Bank of England, preparatory to his being crowned with a wreath of cancelled Banknotes: he is then to proceed to the Rotunda, to partake of a dejeuné à la fourchette, consisting chiefly of prize meats. A great deal of good singing is expected: Mr. R. Jackson is to favour the company with "Money in both Pockets;" twe mermaids have kindly come forward to offer their gratuitous assistance—they are to sit in bathing-tubs, at each side of the President, and have promised, to execute some appropriate airs "Cease, LINES ON YOUng buonapartE'S CRADLE. 179 << Cease, rude Boreas," and "Water parted from the Sea," Sir John being reseated on his ram. The whole to conclude with a grand chorus in praise of Pitt and pound-notes; in which all the Stock-jobbers, Contractors, Clerks, Directors, and the entire corps papicritique, are to join. Medals of the great man, now no more, struck on pasteboard, are to be distributed among the performers, who are to fire a feu de joie in honour of his memory, provided the ram be found sufficiently steady to bear the explosion; otherwise it is to be omitted. I shall resume the subject of the Scarcity of Silver at a future period, which, with some other particulars, I shall be happy to communicate to you; meantime I rémain Your obedient servant, LINES TIMOTHY TINker. ON THE CITIZENS OF PARIS PRESENTING THE SON OF BUONAPARTE WITH A CRADLE, WHICH IS SAID TO HAVE COST A THOUSAND POUNDS. [From the Morning Post, April 16.] GOOD Paris Cits, have better thought, 1. In buying childish things of nought,,, At such a vast expense. Thy cradle, Folly, proves this truth- ,For, have we not been told, forsooth! abatoo But thought is made for Boney's son tablety aut to obet da..? |