« PreviousContinue »
Scene I.— The Grecian Camp. Before Achilles' bone-ache, ard the rivelled fee-simple of the Tent.
tetter, take and take again such preposterous
discoveries! Enter Achilles and PatrocLUS.
Patr. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou, Achil. I 'll heat his blood with Greekish wine what meanest thou to curse thus? to-night,
Ther. Do I curse thee? Which with my scimitar I 'll cool to-morrow. Patr. Why, no, you ruinous butt; you whorePatroclus, let us feast him to the height.
son indistinguishable cur, no. Palr. Here comes Thersites.
Ther. No? why art thou then exasperate, thou
idle immaterial skein of sleave silk, thou green Enter THERSITES.
sarcenet flap for a sore eye, thou tassel of a proAchil. How now, thou core of envy? digal's purse, thou ? Ah, how the poor world is Thou crusty batch of nature, what's the news? pestered with such water-flies: diminutives of
Ther. Why, thou picture of what thou seemest, nature ! and idol of idiot-worshippers, here's a letter for
Patr. Out, gall!
Ther. Finch egg! Achil. From whence, fragment?
Achil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite Ther. Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy. From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle. Patr. Who keeps the tent now?
Here is a letter from Queen Hecuba ;
Patr. Well said, Adversity! and what need | Both taxing me, and gaging me to keep these tricks ?
An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it: Ther. Pr’y thee be silent, boy; I profit not by Fall, Greeks; fail, fame; honour, or go or stay; thy talk : thou art thought to be Achilles' male | My major vow lies here, this I'll obey.-varlet.
Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent; Patr. Male varlet, you rogue! what's that? This night in banqueting must all be spent.
Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the Away, Patroclus. · rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping,
(Exeunt Achilles and PATROCLUS. ruptures, catarrhs, loads o'gravel i'the back, Ther. With too much blood and too little brain, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten these two may run mad; but if with too much livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of impos- | brain and too little blood, they do, I'll be a curer thume, sciaticas, lime-kilns i' the palm, incurable of madmen. Here's Agamemnon — an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails; but Achil. Come, come, enter my tent. he has not so much brain as ear-wax: and the
[Exeunt Achilles, Hector, AJAX, goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his bro
and Nestor. ther, the bull—the primitive statue and oblique Ther. That same Diomed 's a false-hearted memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more a chain, hanging at his brother's leg- to what trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent form but that he is, should wit larded with malice, when he hisses : he will spend his mouth, and and inalice forced with wit, turn him to? To an promise, like Brabler the hound; but when he ass, were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an performs, astronomers foretel it; it is prodigious, ox, were nothing; he is both ox and ass. To be | there will come some change; the sun borrows a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, | of the moon, when Diomed keeps his word. I an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I will rather leave to see Hector, than not to dog would not care; but to be Menelaus — I would him: they say, he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after.—Nothing would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not but lechery! all incontinent varlets! [Exit. to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus. Hey-day! spirits and fires ! Enter Hector, Troilus, AJAX, AGAMEMNON,
Ulysses, Nestor, Menelaus, and DIOMEDES, Scene II. The same. Before Calchas' Tent. with lights. Agam. We go wrong, we go wrong.
Enter Diomedes. Ajax. No, yonder 't is;
Dio. What are you up here, ho? speak. There, where we see the lights.
Cal. [within]. Who calls ? Hect. I trouble you.
Dio. Diomed.— Calchas, I think ;- where's Ajar. No, not a whit.
your daughter? Ulys. Here comes himself to guide you. !
Cal. [within]. She comes to you.
Enter Troilus and Ulysses, at a distance ; after Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome,
them TuersiteS. princes all. Agam. So now, fair prince of Troy, I bid good
Ulys. Stand where the torch may not discover us. night.
Dio. How now, my charge?
Cres. Now, my sweet guardian! Hark, a word Hect. Good night, sweet lord Menelaus.
[Whispers. Ther. Sweet draught; sweet, quoth 'a! sweet Tro. Yea, so familiar! sink, sweet sewer.
Ulys. She will sing any man at first sight. Achil. Good night, and welcome, both to those Ther. And any man may sing her, if he can That go or tarry.
take her clef; she's noted. Agam. Good night.
Dio. Will you remember? [Exeunt AGAMEMNON and Menelaus. Cres. Remember?-yes. Achil. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed, Dio. Nay, but do then ; and let your mind be Keep Hector company an hour or two.
coupled with your words. Dio. I cannot, lord; I have important busi Tro. What should she remember? ness,
Ulys. List! The tide whereof is now.— Good night, great Cres. Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more Hector.
to folly. Hect. Give me your hand.
Dio. Pho, pho! come, tell a pin; you are a Hect. And so good night.
forsworn. [Exit Diomedes ; Ulysses and Troilus Cres. In faith, I cannot : what would you following.
have me do?
I will not be myself, nor have cognition Of what I feel; I am all patience.
Ther. A juggling trick, to bem-secretly open. Dio. What did you swear you would bestow
on me? Cres. I pr’y thee, do not hold me to mine
Dio. Good night.
How now, 'Trojan?
Diomed, Dio. No, no, good night: I'll be your fool no
I pray you,
Tro. Behold, I pray you!
Ulys. Now, good my lord, go off:
Tro. I pr’y thee, stay.
Dio. And so, good night.
Tro. Doth that grieve thee? 0, withered truth!
Ulys. Why, how now, lord ?
Cres. Guardian !—why, Greek !
again. Ulys. You shake, my lord, at something; will
you go? You will break out.
Tro. She strokes his cheek!
Ther. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump and potatoe finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!
Dio. But will you then?
well. He loved me—0, false wench!–Give't me again.
Dio. Who was 't?
Cres. It is no matter, now I have't again.
Ther. Now she sharpens; well said, whetstone.
Dio. I had your heart before; this follows it.
Dio. I will have this; whose was it?
Dio. Whose was it?
Cres. By all Diana's waiting-women yonder, And by herself, I will not tell you whose.
Dio. To-morrow will I wear it on my helm; And grieve his spirit that dares not challenge it. Tro. Wert thou the devil, and wor'st it on thy
horn, It should be challenged. Cres. Well, well, 't is done, 'tis past: and yet
it is not; I will not keep my word.
Dio. Why then, farewell; Thou never shalt mock Diomed again. Cres. You shall not go :-one cannot speak a
word, But it straight starts you.
Dio. I do not like this fooling.
Ther. Nor I, by Pluto: but that that likes not you, pleases me best.
Dio. What, shall I come ? the hour?
Of this strange nature, that a thing inseparate Cres. Ay, come:-0, Jore!
Divides more wider than the sky and earth; Do come :--I shall be plagued.
And yet the spacious breadth of this division Dio. Farewell till then.
Admits no orifice for a point, as subtile Cres. Good night. I pr'y thee, come.
As is Arachne's broken woof, to enter.
[Exit DIOMEDES. Instance, o instance! strong as Pluto's gates ; Troilus, farewell! one eye yet looks on thee; Cressid is mine, tied with the bonds of heaven : But with my heart the other eye doth see. Instance, o instance! strong as heaven itself; Ah! poor our sex! this fault in us I find, The bonds of heaven are slipped, dissolved, and The error of our eye directs our mind :
loosed; What error leads, must err: 0), then conclude And with another knot, five-finger tied, Minds, swayed by eyes, are full of turpitude. The fractions of her faith, orts of her love,
[Exit. The fragments, scraps, the bits, and greasy reliques Ther. A proof of strength she could not publish Of her o'er eaten faith, are bound to Diomed. more,
Ulys. May worthy Troilus be half attached Unless she said, “My mind is now turned whore." | With that which here his passion doth express? Ulys. All's done, my lord.
Tro. Ay, Greek; and that shall be divulgéd well It is.
In characters as red as Mars his heart Ulys.
Why stay we, then? Inflamed with Venus: never did young man fancy Tro. To make a recordation to my soul
With so eternal and so fixed a soul. Of every syllable that here was spoke.
Hark, Greek ;-as much as I do Cressid love, But, if I tell how these two did co-act,
So much by weight hate I her Diomed : Shall I not lie in publishing a truth?
That sleeve is mine that he 'll bear on his helm; Sith yet there is a credence in my heart, Were it a casque composed by Vulcan's skill, An esperance so obstinately strong,
My sword should bite it: not the dreadful spout That doth invert the attest of eyes and ears! Which shipinen do the hurricano call, As if those organs had deceptious functions, Constringed in mass by the almighty sun, Created only to calumniate.
Shall dizzy with more clamour Neptune's ear Was Cressid here?
In his descent, than shall my prompted sword Ulys. I cannot conjure, Trojan.
Falling on Diomed. Tro. She was not, sure.
Ther. He 'll tickle it for his concupy. Ulys. Most sure she was.
Tro. O, Cressid ! O, false Cressid ! false, false, Tro. Why, my negation hath no taste of mad
Let all untruths stand by thy stainéd name, Ulys. Nor mine, my lord : Cressid was here And they'll seem glorious. but now.
Ulys. O, contain yourself;
Æne. I have been seeking you this hour, mylord : By Cressid's rule: rather think this not Cressid. Hector, by this, is arming him in Troy; Ulys. What hath she done, prince, that can Ajax, your guard, stays to conduct you home. soil our mothers ?
Tro. Have with you, prince :—My courteous Tro. Nothing at all, unless that this were she.
lord, adieu :
Stand fast, and wear a castle on thy head!
Tro. Accept distracted thanks.
[Exeunt Troilus, Æneas, and Ulysses. If sanctimony be the gods' delight,
Ther. 'Would I could meet that rogue Diomed! If there be rule in unity itself,
I would croak like a raven; I would bode, I would This was not she. O, madness of discourse, bode. Patroclus will give me anything for the inThat cause sets up with and against itself!
telligence of this whore: the parrot will not do Bifold authority! where reason can revolt more for an almond, than he for a commodious Without perdition, and loss assume all reason drab. Lechery, lechery; still wars and lechery; Without revolt; this is, and is not, Cressid! nothing else holds fashion : a burning devil take Within my soul there doth commence a fight
Scene III.—Troy. Before Priam's Palace. Pursue we him on knees; for I have dreamed
Of bloody turbulence, and this whole night Enter Hector and AndroMACHE.
Hath nothing been but shapes and forms of And. When was my lord so much ungently
Cas. 0, it is true. To stop his ears against admonishment?
Hect. Ho! bid my trumpet sound ! Unarm, unarm, and do not fight to-day.
Cas. No notes of sally, for the heavens, sweet Hect. You train me to offend you; get you in ;
brother. By all the everlasting gods, I 'll go.
Hect. Begone, I say: the gods have heard me And. My dreams will, sure, prove ominous to
swear. the day.
Cas. The gods are deaf to hot and peevish vows: Hect. No more, I say.
They are polluted offerings, more abhorred
Than spotted livers in the sacrifice.
And. O, be persuaded : Do not count it holy Cas. Where is my brother Hector ? To hurt by being just: it is as lawful,
And. Here, sister; armed, and bloody in intent: For we would give much, to use violent thefts, Consort with me in loud and dear petition ; | And rob in the behalf of charity.