a

to break it, unless the greatest defects appear in the object; for the breaking such a friendship gives us a double wound, in depriving us of the good offices we expected from a friend, and arraigning our judge ment which made so ill a choice; therefore the uncasiness of those reflections must be greater than the satisfaction which such friendship could bring us.

Q. Gentlemen, I have been lately cast in as delicate a cause as a lawyer could desire to lay lips to, and all for want of money to fee my lawyer as plentifully as my

adversary: I am convinc'd my council bath taken fees on both sides, and I suppose my adversary hath given hims more than I have: Now must not my Law.yer be a great knave in this ? and another query is, How mall I make him honeft?

A. Fie! fie! A knave! it shews he is no respecter of persons, by taking fees on both sides: and whereas your adversary gave your lawyer most money, your lawyer very honestly gave him most for his money, and got him the cause; what could he in gratitude do less? But to your second query, If after all this he should chance not to be honest, to it again with writ of error, till you have spent all your money, and we will engage be never deceives you after.

Q. Gentlemen, You seem able (by the rational answers you give to questions) to instruct all mankind, pray direct me home I may make my taylor an honest man?

A. Never trust him, nor let him trust you.

Q. I am by trade a weaver, and was forc'd to make a break of it, by reason of great lofles I had; and you mu know that I bave a great many receipts to cure all difter pers, which were left me by an old aunt; nay, I have one to cure a festerd wound, and that I think a very bad distemper: now I will be advised by you, Gentlemen, whes ther I shall turn Doctor, or set to my weaving again ? A. Turn Doctor by all means, Man, Gince you

talk fo learnedly of the matter ; never fear offending the physicians, for you are likely to make a great deal of work for 'em.

Q. The love which you profess to serve the Fair,
* To solve such intricates as doubtful are,
Invites my pen to ask your sage advice,
Ard crave it in a matter which fo doubtful is.

Tell me which way I may discover
The diff'rence 'twixt a false and real lover ?
Love is a passion by your God approved,
And you, bis fons, by all the Nymphs belov’d.

Your speedy answer is defir’d by PHILĻIS.
A. The false with serious looks will swear and lie,
And fighs enough, to blow down Paul's, let fly,
2.Nay, he'll resolve, ay, that he will, to die;
But if you freely grant him your consent,
You'll find he re’lly had no fuch intent;
But he who dares the cord's or pistol's proof,

In troth, we think he loves you well enough, Q. That great Apollo-gen'rously has shown Regard and pity to a wretch unknown, Gives me fome ease and fooths my pleasing pain, -But ah! it does not melt the charming swain : The merit you fo courteously give me, Is centred all in that inchanting be: I have of nothing but my love to boafi, That love attračts not love is thought by mofit, Tho' 'tis a paradox 1 can't approve, Since heav'n requires no more than love for love. But since your eloquence and noble fire Cannot with gen'rous love his heart inspire; In vain 1 Arive, so wish you fill may shine, And taste true happiness

, since you promoted mine. A. Ah! lovely Fair! if one who writes like thee, Can unregarded live, and fighted be, What must they hope whose rays more feebly shine, Nor boast a merit half so bright as thine ? Henceforth let clouded beauties mourn their state, - For who, when you are fal’n, can hope a smile from

fate? Q. I have some thoughts with an old Trim Tram, To venture on the marriage whim wham; 3

She's

She's dev'lish rich, and dev'lisa homely,
Save that ber

money

makes her comely;
Her eyes like fnuffs funk in their fockets,
Yet shine with lustre in her pockets:
Her mouth not one poor stump, enjoys,
But then ten thousand yellow-boys:
An Otter's in her breath expreft,
But all Arabia's in her, cheft :
She is a curs’dl eternal fcold,
But, oh! the musick of her gold!
She's old enough to be a witch,
Tet fill consider, she is rich.
Now tell me, pray, the worst that

may

be,
If I should wed this rich old Lady ?

A. Marry her! Ay, she's of more worth
Io person, than her yellow earth:
It is not what most bright and fair is
That gives the value, but what rare is;
For don't black tulips bear the bell,
And 'cause they're seldom seen, excell?
Don't Ladies buy gimcracks and whimsies,
Because far-fetch'd, t'adorn their chimnies?
And Indian monsters value more
On cabinet, screen and scrutore:
Than fine proportion'd figures here,
Altho' they are not half so dear?
And if these truths are, and not stories,
Of

your old touchwood mummy Chloris ;
She is a monster full as rare,
As e'er was shewn at country fair ;
This will add to the fight too, viz.
Your own large ears, with her old phiz.

TO a Lady, who told her lover, he only serv’d to divers

ber spleen.

H

Appy that I in any sense can please,

Tho' but to drive away a dull disease,
A fickness of the mind, which rudely dares
Intrude upon your mirth its idle fears.

G 2

May

May all

your

hours still smile, all gayly move,
The vileft office can't extinguilh love.
Glad I should be to please some other way,
But where we love, 'tis pleasure to obey.
A thousand various arts I'd gladly prove,
To give you joy, tho' I can't give you

love; Nor Mall my fatc alone in this be seen, Lovers, like fools, are physick for the spleen.

The Acknowledgment.
Ith utmost force and stratagems I strove

To stop the progress of invading love;
And long endeavour'd to supplant the foe,
Restrain my passion, and conceal my woe:
But useless all

, supplies the tyrant gains,
Pursues new conquests, and creates new pains:
And now my charge is so oppressive grown,
That forc'd I am to make the secret known.

Thus when some murm’ring river's weaker powers Rebellious rise by large successive Towers, To no controuling banks the torrent yields, But with a rapid course o'erflows tbc fields.

To beauteous Amaryllis I'll declare, How bright her charms, how great my torments are, With reverence I'll relate the vast surprize My heart receives from her enchanting eyes: And if the heavenly Nymph I thus admire, Disdains my fuit, and shuns my chart desire, I, Salamander-like, am doom'd to live by fire.

Q. Whether our Saviour, when he fed the sooo with five loaves and two fishes, did encrease the loaves and fishes, as Elisha did the pot of oil, 2 Kings iv. 2, &c.

A. As the miracle could not be perform’d, but either by encreasing the loaves and fishes, as the prophet did the pot of oil, or by making so scanty a provision satisfy the hunger of so great a multitude, so that it was perform’d the former way, we may gather from the fragments that remain'd, even 12 bas• kets fall, unless we will allow of fo absurd a paradox, as that part may be bigger than the whole.

Q. Why

a

Q. Why does a Bishop, when ele&ted, refuse the acceptance of the Bishoprick iwice, and yet being askt the third sime, accept of it?

A. The custom is now discontinued, but we may suppose the elected Bishops to have formerly twice repeated, Nolo episcopari, I don't care to be a Bishop, with defiga to declare their humility and modesty ; that so honourable an office in the Church was neither of their own feeking, nor the object of their ambitious hopes. They may be fuppos'd also to have complied at the third time of asking in fubmission to the providence of God, which had called them to so high a dignity. If some were not fincere in what they profess’d in fo particular a form, the fault was chargeable upon them, and not upon the custom.

Q. Why is it, when the mind is opprest with extream forrow, it often inclines the afflicted perfon to sleep; whereas the vital parts being depress’d, it should rather obftru&t fo peaceful an exercise ?

A. Extream forrow has usually the contrary effect; but as it must be allow'd that it sometimes has the effect you mention, so these different effects arisa from the difference in constitutions: for as lleep is generally owing to the want of such a quantity of animal spirits as are sufficient to diftend the nerves, fo in most constitutions extream forrow so irritates the blood as to supply the nerves with a large store of animal spirits, whence consequently proceeds watchfulness. But in some constitutions the same degree of forrow has a greater influence on the nerves to diffipate the animal spirits, than on the blood to occasion proportionable supplies: but as our bodies are not at all times alike affected, so the same cause may produce different effects in the very same person at different times.

Q. Whether covetoufness or prodigality. be the greater in?

A. The former lays claim to the greater share in the heinousaess of guilt. Whatever aggravations prodigality may be branded with, covetousness presents