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Whose ruffick hands, whose eager teeth and songwe,
Were usid to bite and stretch the stubborn thong,
Translated now, doft scorn they former Aate,
CommandA thy city. house and rural-fear.
To court, to park, so theatres dost go,
Enjoy:lt thy bottle and thy mistress too.
But i, by thoughtless friends averfe to trade,
Was fent to Oxford and a scholar made,
And what do grammar rules advantage me,
Or when will rhetorick beneficial be ?
Away with books and muses, let them rot,
Since more by cobling than by reading's got.

Q. Why did not God make the world in a moment as well as in six days?

A. We prefumc this learned querist does not difpute, but God could have made the world in a moment, as well as in six days if he had so pleas’d. Therefore taking that for granted, we shall attempt some Jeasons why he did not.

1. It was most agreeable to that order, decency and regulation, which God prescribes to himself in all his works. Now to have struck out light and darkness, fire and water, earth, heaven and air, donc, all at one heat, must not only have destroy'd and confounded all order and decency, but have been contrary to the rules of right reason, against which, that mighty Being can never be suppos'd to act.

2. The creation of the world at one fiat, ( tho' it might have been equally poffible to God ) might have been too stupendous a view, even for the An. gels themselves, and no doubt but God had a great regard to them in it, by thewing them the beauty, harmony and fymmetry of his daily labours, for which without all question they return'd the conftant tribute of their Allelujahs.

3. It was to be a standing rule and direction to mankind, for the future government of their lives and actions, to labour six days, and to keep the sea venth holy to him, who refted upon that day and blefied it.

Q. Why than snow?

Q. Why does it often bail in warm weather, but als ways from in cold, tho hail be a more compact congelation

A. Your question is founded upon two fuppofitions, which are both false. You first fuppose, that water when congeald, is more condense, than when diffolv'd. Whereas on the contrary it is more rarified. This supposition was indeed the opinion of the schools men, but is clearly confused by matter of fact. For ice of equal dimensions with water weighs lefs by the proportion of one tenth or one in ten, as is calculated by Mr. Boyle. Your question again supposes, that hail and snow are produc'd out of the same substratum of matter ; whereas snow is engender'd from thin vapours, and bail from drops of rain. In what manner they are both generated, is without the bounds of your queftion.

Q. Why are cuckolds said to wear horns and not their wives ?

4. A shrewd question truly! and now, thinks the crafty querift, f who imagines no body but himself knows any thing to the purpose in fo crooked a business ) I have nip'd this upstart fociety in the bud, but have at you for once; we'll let you pollo knows what belongs to horns as well as you Sir. Horns are goods of a woman's getting, and (ia England) you know, all such are her husbands by the law i besides, Şir, tho' a man and his wife are but one fel, yet the busband is the head, and must consequently wear the horns by the law of nature; or perhaps 'tis because the husband, like an ox in a yoak, plows daily on in one deep drudgery, while his brisker mate is gallop'd about from road to road like a beast of burthen.

Q. Whether there were the fame number of species of living creatures and the firs creation, as there are none ?

A. They, who say that the number is encreas'd fince the creation, must allow of one of these two propofitions ; either that God has since created fome new fpecies, or such have been produc'd by the stated

laws

fee A.

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of

laws of second causes. But both these propositions may very fairly be denyd. To say, that God has since created some new species, is to tax him with imperfection in his first effay, which is sure unworthy of an all-wise Creator; to say, that some new species have been fince produc'd by the stated laws of second causes, is to allow of equivocal generation; whereas generation is univocal : that is, a species can be no otherwise naturally formed than by seminal produce tion. If some object, that by the mutual agency two different species a mixt one may be produc'd, as a mule is generated by the conjunction of an horse and ass, to those it may be replied, that such are but temporary creatures, and dye without any propaga-, tion of their kind.

Q. Three perfons making their addresses to me, A captain, a lawyer, and a merchant; I have enquir'd after their personal estates, for they despise real ones : my captain has bis commiffion in his pocket, which fcorns to keep comparing with any gold there. My lawyer has a desk, nine law. books without covers, two with covers, a temple mug, and the hopes of being a judge. My merchant has & val

a vas estate, tho' at that distance that I never heard of any bea sides, who have ever travelld to those parts. On the other hand I consider'd the risks I Mou'd run; if my cape tain should be broke his fortunes would be broke, and by consequence my heart would be broke ; for all money can never be extra&ted out of no money. My lawyer might ftudy Cook upon Littletoo, more than my conftitution, and so his horns might throw off his coif. My merchant might travel after his effe&ts, and leave me at the mere of his fore-man, then, shou'd I happen to go.two years with child, he might not believe it his own, and so fue out a divorce. Now it is certain, one of these I must have, Since it is as certain I expe&t no orhers: therefore since your Apollo was a passionate lover of our fex, I hope your compassion will confess your legitimacy, and incline you so ads vise herein ?

A. When we forget our respects to your fex, may our descent be csteem'd fpurious. Your case

seems

feems so intricate, that we durft give no solution thereon, without first consulting the Oracle of Apollo, who by his priestess returns this answer,

In times of war, when Mars triumphant reigns, The merchant runs the risk of all bis gains, The lawyer beats in vain his folid brains, The soldier's only paid for all his pains. Q. Gentlemen, Pray tell me what you think of St. Au• ftin's opinion ; be fuys if Adam had not fell, generation had been perform'd without the loss of the maidenhead:

A. We are not of his mind, as not thinking there is so much fanctity in celebacy, on wbich we pres fume that opinion is grounded.

Q. If you Apollo's fons wou'd prove your felves
And not chang'd in your cradles by fome elves,
Tell us what's Wit, with which your God inspires ?
Or we shall think you fons of other fires :
But if (declining this you still will file
Tourselves his fons, and boat your father's smile,
We must conclude you got upon the mud of Nile.

A. Wit like the Phoenix, is a bird most rare,
Al men believe she is, tho' few know where;
But if Apollo must his sentence give,
He loves to answer in the negative:
Firk then, there is no wit, in lines like thine,
For satyr seldom has the luck to shine ;
Malicious writers never wear the bays,
And you great criticks scorn to merit praise :
But if thy genius cannot fairly shew
The powerful God, thy verse desires to know,
Jump on a thought, you never aim'd at yet,
And you may chance to stumble into wit.

on Tears shed by a Lady.
F from the fair, the weeping Myrrha came,

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It when the queen of love Adonis mourn'd,
Her tears to violets and roses turn'd
What from the dear Hortensia's brighter eyes,
To bless the age fucceeding shall arise ?

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Somee xq uisite perfume, to feast the sense,
From drops of such amazing excellence
Shall spring: Ah no! delulive strain,
Why halt thou footh'd me with that thought in vain!
That sweetly trickling dew which now I mourn,
In time to folid adamant shall turn,
And represent to ages yet behind,
Her harden'd heart and unrelenting mind.
For tho' by nature she was form'd as fair
As morning light, and good as Angels are ;
Yet in the midst of that all pleasing frame,
A heart untouch'd by any lover's Aame,
Unmov'd by vows, insensible of tears,
And hard as Aint, the cruel charmer wears.
And yet she weeps, so does the spring that swells
With petrefying itreams the neighb'ring

rills,
And leaves, and limbs of trees with ftony substance

fills, Till their first nature seems intirely gone, And the next age surpriz'd confess 'em solid ftone. On a lover's attempting to kiss his mistress thro' a glass

window.
Hus on some rock,the shipwrack'd sailor ftands,
And views with weeping eyes, and wringing

hands,
Inviting prospects from the neighb'ring lands.
But if he strives to swim, he strives in vain,
For rowliog billows beat him back again.

Curse on the disappointment of my kiss,
Can brittle glass oppose a lover's bliss !
Frail are our am'rous hopes, if love must be
Subfervient to a thing so weak as thee.
Perish thy use. This does thy nature prove,
Light ever was an enemy to love,
But thou hast now found a new way to toy,

First give the hope, then dash the tempting joy.
At midnight thus, men meet the wandring ghost
Of fome dear friend, whom once they valued most,
But when with open arms they, strive to greet,
And in a kind embrace each other meet,

Cold

T

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