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seemed to partake so much of personal attachment, that I resolved to retain him in my house by a fixed salary. Dr. Doddipoll was a valetudinary like myself; and I had always experienced from him that tender condolence which the distressed feel for each other. His skill was very great-and he had at the same time so little of the quackery of his profession, that he openly derided all pretensions to mystery, and plainly declared, that he regarded his brethren of the faculty as solemn impostors. The long studies preparatory to this profession, and the extensive learning supposed to be necessary to attain a knowledge of its doctrines, he treated with the utmost ridicule. I have often heard him say, that he would engage to communicate the whole science of medicine to any person of common intellects in a couple of hours. My friend Doddipoll held but one maxim in physic, which was, that all diseases have their seat in the stomach, and proceed either from too great a richness and viscidity, or an extreme thinness of the gastric juices. The former was to be corrected by the use of attenuating food, the latter by that which is more nutritive. To the former class he referred my case: as it was evident, he said, from the thinness of my legs and the paleness of my complexion, that the juices were too thick to circulate freely through the minute lymphatics, and thus the parts were deprived of their due nourishment. His own case he decided to belong to the contrary class, as was apparent from the unwieldy size of his legs and belly, and the scurvy in his face. The thinness of the juices gave rise to a superabundant secretion, which distended all the vessels, occasioned too great a determination of blood to the head, and swelled the whole body. His regimen and mine were therefore totally opposite. To attenuate my juices, I was fed chiefly on skim-milk, panada, and vegetables; while Doddipoll, to correct

the tenuity of his fluids, was restricted to beef and pudding, turkey and chine, &c. a tankard of mild ale, and a bottle of old claret. You will forgive my use of medical terms, Mr. Lounger; they are, strictly speaking, my mother-tongue, and I cannot easily express myself without them.

My family consisted at this time, besides the doctor and myself, of my man-servant Peter, and my maid Betty, two honest and faithful domestics; and I may say with great truth, there never was a better regulated or more orderly household. It was Peter's province to rub me down in the morning with the flesh-brush, to make my water-dock tea, to attend me at noon with the dumb-bells, and measure out my hour of exercise, make up my electuaries, cook my sago and panada, boil my water-gruel and whitewine whey, air my flannel shirt, and put me to bed. Betty's services were chiefly dedicated to my worthy friend the doctor, who always gave her the commendation of an excellent and discreet young woman, and perfectly acquainted with all the duties of an handmaid.

Such, sir, was the course of my life, during those which may be termed my halcyon days; when, ah, the inconstancy of human affairs! my friend, my companion, my Esculapius, was carried off by a fit of apoplexy. The poor doctor-how shall I describe the melancholy scene! A fillet of veal stood upon the table. It was stuffed, which was his favourite way of dressing it. He looked at it for some time, muttered something about butter and oranges, fell back in his chair, and expired.

ALAS, POOR DODDIPOLL!

On this melancholy occasion, I had many consolatory visits from my friends and relations. Among

these last, I was much struck with the tender sympathy of one of my female cousins, the Honourable Miss Angelica Tempest. This lady, though past her bloom, had still the appearance of a fine woman. Though she had no fortune, having had an excellent education, she wanted none of the accomplishments of a lady of fashion. But what struck me most in her character was the sensibility of her disposition, and that affectionate concern she showed for all sort of distresses. She would often sit by me for hours, listen to my complaints with the most sympathising attention, and inquire into their particular symptoms with the tenderness of a sister, and the solicitude of a sick-nurse. To cut the matter short, sir, she so far won upon me, that in an evil hour, and tempted I believe by the devil, I threw myself at her feet, and proposed marriage. She did not disdain my suit; and after a reasonable time for the adjustment of all punctilios, we became man and wife.

For the first week all went smoothly enough; but at the end of that period I began to perceive a rising spirit of innovation, which gave me some disquiet. I had made my account with some changes; as the family-establishment which was suitable to my bachelor state might be thought too contracted for that into which I had now entered. I therefore readily enough acquiesced in the proposal of hiring a larger house, and adding two to the number of our domestics; but it was with much concern I learned that the reform was to be begun by the dismission of the trusty Peter and the discreet Mrs. Betty. It was in vain I urged the merits of both, their long services, and perfect acquaintance with the complicated system of my poor constitution, its wants, and its regimen. My wife declared, that to attend to these was no less her duty than her pleasure, and that, while she lived, no other hands than her own should touch

the body of her dearest lord. It was however very soon perceived, that in this she had undertaken a task more laborious than she was aware of. The exercise of the flesh-brush was found so fatiguing that on the third morning, in pure compassion to her, I proposed to make trial of one of our new footmen. This rascal, who seemed endowed with the strength of Hercules, began as if he had been currying a centaur, and actually dislocated my shoulder at the first experi

ment.

During a painful confinement to my chair, which was the consequence of this unlucky accident, it was not unnatural to have expected that my wife, who was so remarkable for the tender feelings, would have exercised her utmost assiduity in administering consolation under a disaster, of which it was plain she had been the cause. But what, sir, was the method she took to comfort me? Why, by endeavouring to persuade me that there was nothing the matter with me. She had the cruelty to tell me, that I had no other disease than vapours, and undertook, with equal folly and presumption, that she would completely cure me in the space of a month. A pragmatical coxcomb of a physician, who now supplied the place of my late worthy friend, declared my wife's notion of my disorder to be altogether just, and concurred with her in opinion as to the method of cure. Moderate exercise was ordered for bracing my nerves, and company and amusements were prescribed for keeping up my spirits.

For these purposes the chariot was ordered to attend every morning immediately after breakfast; and, for the benefit of air and exercise, I was rattled for four hours upon the stones, through a tour of twenty visits, and the complete circuit of all the mercers and milliners shops in town. My dearest contrived to have a select company of a few friends to dine with

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us every day, and a small whist-party in the evening, except on Monday, which was our private concert, and every second Thursday, when she had a rout of six tables. Once a week I was conveyed to the play, and had the pleasure of seeing the Siddons, at the repeated hazard of suffocation: but here, I own, it alleviated my feelings to observe the greatest part of the audience undergoing, without compulsion, apparently the same agonies with myself.

I always delighted, sir, in tranquillity. Judge, therefore, of my mortification, in now finding that my life was destined to be one continued scene of tumult and turmoil. We are informed, that in the days of witchcraft, when it was the misfortune of any old woman to incur that imputation, it was customary with her accusers to prevent her intercourse with the devil, which was supposed to be chiefly during sleep, by keeping her continually awake. My wife, sir, seems to hold some opinions very analogous to that now mentioned. Apprehending a state of quiet to be of the worst consequences to my disorder, it is her constant study to guard against and prevent it by every possible means. As, with all her industry to find employment for the day, there must be some few moments unoccupied, she has provided several domestic companions of such of the animal tribe as are most averse to rest and silence. We have three dogs, who wage eternal warfare with as many cats. A parrot is suspended in the staircase, a magpie in the ante-chamber, and six Canary birds in the parlour. A monkey, I am informed, has been commissioned, and is actually upon the road; but this additional curse I believe I shall effectually prevent, having taken measures to have him waylaid and assassinated.

But these are the least of my grievances. I must now inform you of somewhat more serious. I have

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