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were unregarded. Seeing them continue for a whole year, indeed, has mollified my strong-hearted companions, and they now relent in earnest and wish me happy: I would now therefore be loath to dye, yet how shall I recruit my constitution so as to live? The pardon certainly did arrive the very instant of execution
for I was ill beyond all power of description, when my eldest daughter, bursting into tears, bid me call home the man of my heart, and not expire by slow torture in the presence of my children, who had my life in their power. You are dying now,' said she. 'I know
it,' replied I,
and I should die in peace had I but
she, hurry him back, or I myself will send him an express.' At these words I revived, and have been mending ever since. This was the first time that any of us had named the name of Piozzi to each other since we had put our feet into the coach to come to Bath. I had always thought it a point of civility and prudence never to mention what could give nothing but offence, and cause nothing but disgust, while they desired nothing less than a revival of old uneasiness; so we were all silent on the subject, and Miss Thrale thought him dead."
According to the Autobiography, the daughters did not conclusively relent till the end of April or the beginning of May, when a missive was dispatched for
Piozzi, and Mrs. Thrale went to London to make the
Mrs. Thrale to Miss F. Burney.
"Mortimer Street, Cavendish Square,
"Tuesday Night, May, 1784.
"I am come, dearest Burney. It is neither dream nor fiction; though I love you dearly, or I would not have come. Absence and distance do nothing towards wearing out real affection; so you shall always find it in your true and tender H. L. T.
"I am somewhat shaken bodily, but 'tis the mental shocks that have made me unable to bear the corporeal ones. 'Tis past ten o'clock, however, and I must lay myself down with the sweet expectation of seeing my charming friend in the morning to breakfast. I love Dr. Burney too well to fear him, and he loves me too well to say a word which should make me love him less."
Journal (Madame D'Arblay's) Resumed.
"MAY 17.-Let me now, my Susy, acquaint you a little more connectedly than I have done of late how I have gone on. The rest of that week I devoted almost wholly to sweet Mrs. Thrale, whose society was truly the most delightful of cordials to me, however, at times mixed with bitters the least palatable.
"One day I dined with Mrs. Garrick to meet Dr.
Johnson, Mrs. Carter, Miss Hamilton, and Dr. and Miss Cadogan; and one evening I went to Mrs. Vesey, to meet almost everybody,-the Bishop of St. Asaph, and all the Shipleys, Bishop Chester and Mrs. Porteous, Mrs. and Miss Ord, Sir Joshua Reynolds and Miss Palmer, Mrs. Buller, all the Burrows, Mr. Walpole, Mrs. Boscawen, Mrs. Garrick, and Miss More, and some others. But all the rest of my time I gave wholly to dear Mrs. Thrale, who lodged in Mortimer Street, and who saw nobody else. Were I not sensible of her goodness, and full of incurable affection for her, should I not be a monster?
"I parted most reluctantly with my dear Mrs. Thrale, whom, when or how, I shall see again, Heaven only knows! but in sorrow we parted—on my side in real affliction."
The excursion is thus mentioned in " Thraliana”:
"28th May, 1784. Here is the most sudden and beautiful spring ever seen after a dismal winter: so may God grant me a renovation of comfort after my many and sharp afflictions. I have been to London for a week to visit Fanny Burney, and to talk over my intended (and I hope approaching) nuptials, with Mr. Borghi a man, as far as I can judge in so short an acquaintance with him, of good sense and real honour: -who loves my Piozzi, likes my conversation, and wishes to serve us sincerely. He has recommended Duane to take my power of attorney, and Cator's loss will be the less felt. Duane's name is as high as the
Monument, and his being known familiarly to Borghi will perhaps quicken his attention to our concerns.
"Dear Burney, who loves me kindly but the world reverentially, was, I believe, equally pained as delighted with my visit: ashamed to be seen in my company, much of her fondness for me must of course be diminished; yet she had not chatted freely so long with anybody but Mrs. Philips, that my coming was a comfort to her. We have told all to her father, and he behaved with the utmost propriety.
"Nobody likes my settling at Milan except myself and Piozzi; but I think 'tis nobody's affair but our own: it seems to me quite irrational to expose ourselves to unnecessary insults, and by going straight to Italy all will be avoided."
The crisis is told in "Thraliana":
"10th June, 1784.-I sent these lines to meet Piozzi on his return.
They are better than those he liked so
last year at Dover:
"Over mountains, rivers, vallies,
See my love returns to Calais,
For her that would disdain a Palace
Compar'd to Piozzi, Love, and Calais."
"24th June, 1784.-He is set out sure enough, here are letters from Turin to say so. . . Now the Misses must move; they are very loath to stir: from affection perhaps, or perhaps from art--'tis difficult to know. Oh 'tis, yes, it is from tenderness, they want me to go with them to see Wilton, Stonehenge, &c. I will go with them to be sure."
"27th June, Sunday.--We went to Wilton, and also to Fonthill; they make an admirable and curious contrast between ancient magnificence and modern glare: Gothic and Grecian again, however. A man of taste would rather possess Lord Pembroke's seat, or indeed a single room in it; but one feels one should live happier at Beckford's.-My daughters parted with me at last prettily enough considering (as the phrase is). We shall perhaps be still better friends apart than together. Promises of correspondence and kindness were very sweetly reciprocated, and the eldest wished for Piozzi's safe return very obligingly.
"I fancy two days more will absolutely bring him to Bath. The present moments are critical and dreadful, and would shake stronger nerves than mine! Oh Lord, strengthen me to do Thy will I pray."
"28th June. I am not yet sure of seeing him again— not sure he lives, not sure he loves me yet.. Should anything happen now!! Oh, I will not trust myself with such a fancy: it will either kill me or drive me distracted."